hints

on a day like today, how could i stay inside forever?

xx

please strengthen my heart

'Be of good courage,
and He shall strengthen your heart,
all you who hope in the Lord."
Psalm 31:24

Plans are changing, rather quickly in fact. I had a doctor's appointment today, and, though I don't have my blood test results back from the clinic yet, my doctor did say something is cleary wrong. He also said I shouldn't leave (for Colorado) until I'm well.

I have made the decision not to go. For those of you who are close to me, and have spoken to me over the past couple months about my plans to go out to Colorado Springs with Ricky, you know how up and down it's been in terms of whether or not either or both of us were actually going to make it out there.

Ricky and I have been praying about this for months, asking the Lord to close doors for either of us to get out there if it's the wrong thing for one of us, and if He has something different and something better instead.
Well, it looks to me like the door for me to get to Colorado is being closed.
This is a little bit hard for me to swallow. I was really looking forward to trying something new, going back to YWAM, learning more about my gifts and talents in an environment where growth and spiritual stimulation is constantly challenged. I just don't feel right about going, and so my plans have changed. I believe God has good things for me. I mean, He does promise to have my best interest in mind, according to His riches in glory. I will hope in the Lord and trust that His plan is the best, far better than my own.
Though I'm tired of being in this rut... this place of not having direction, I am excited for what's next and what God has for me.
I know now that Ricky is supposed to be there in Colorado, and that God will use Him there, and teach Him so much. I am excited for him!!

As for me, who knows where I'm headed.

xx

good morning, rice tea

I have found that beauty is in simplicity.

Like a cup of herbal tea

In a lovely mug

With some minty polish on my nails.

xx

handmade

Pillows for sale!
I will be making more, and I'll continue to sell them/post them.
If you're interested in buying, please email me : larkandsky@hotmail.com
First come first serve!

Blue & Orange floral - $20
Mint w. Bow - $20
Majenta & Black floral - $10

lately

i have a new neice. cutest sweetest little baby girl.

my sister jes holding the sweater my mom knit for her little babe.

celebration squares, a tasty breakfast, apple pie mix, my room and i on my birthday.

notice that most of these photos are of food. hmmmm...

xx

All of this.

Today has been one of those days again. Another day I had to drag myself out of bed, achy and dreadfully lethargic. I can hardly think straight I feel so tired. The strange thing about this is that I've been getting more than enough sleep. I've been sleeping all the time. Every time I watch a movie, I fall asleep. Every time I lie down, I fall asleep. I've been achy for weeks now, constantly feeling like I'm fighting something off. I'm just so sick of it.
Lately my mind has been going crazy with all these assumptions that I'm dying of some disease. It's getting really bad. I've been researching a whole bunch of different medical sites to try and diagnose myself with something to somehow, in some strange way, put my mind at ease, but it only seems to make things worse. I am so stressed out! I find myself contantly stressing out about what's going on inside my body without my knowing it. It's silly. It really is. I understand that. And I also understand that whatever life hands me, God has more than enough grace for me to take hold of. I know it's true. I just find that the more I think about it, the more I worry. The more I worry, the more desperate I am for answers. The more desperate I am for answers, the more I'm typing ridiculous things into different search engines. It's pathetic and I really need to stop.
I know God has not given my any spirit of fear, and so whatever this is, and wherever I'm getting all this worry and panic from, needs to get lost. I need to focus on life... what's ahead, what I've been given.

I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday because it's pretty clear that something's just not right. But until my appointment I need to stop focussing so much on all these negative things.

HOWEVER! I have decided to stop drinking/eating caffeine. Of course, I've gone ahead and researched my symptoms and a few of them happen to be an overload of caffeine. It does make sense! This is going to be SO hard! Oh man. I am so in love with coffee. I drink wayyyy too much in general... which is only going to make it more difficult. I'm quitting caffeine, cold turkey. I'll let you know how this turns out. To be honest, I'm not excited. at all. I like my coffeeeeee. A lot.

So, farewell to coffee, black tea, CHOCOLATE :( ... hopefully I'll taste your goodness again some day.

Anyway, as far as preparations go for Colorado, EEEK!!! I am running a little low on time here. Panicking just slightly, to be completely honest with you. In fact, yeah. I am very stressed out. Trying not to be, but I am. Let's see here... seeing as today's pretty much over, I have approximately 11 days before Ricky and I had planned to leave.  Because everything has been so up in the air for the past 2 months regarding even making the simple decision to go to CO or not, everything has been pushed the last minute. I have a lot to do and very little time to do it.

LORD! HELP ME!

Really though, this the story of my life. I always, without fail, and I mean that, push EVERYTHING to the very last minute. Call it procrastination, call it stupitidy, call it irresponsability... call it what you will. I realize it's not the best way to go about living, but it's worked out for 19 years!! Ha.

You can laugh at me if I end up in Colorado in a month instead of 2 weeks, because that's pretty probable.

I am such a mess.
My apologies for that.

XX

Gungor "Beautiful Things" Acoustic Performance

Pieces

Could I Be More Excited?

This is where Ricky, my wonderful boyfriend, and I are going at the end of September. This is Colorado Springs. We'll both be volunteering at the Youth With A Mission base there for almost 3 months. Ricky will be involved in worship and as for me... well I'm not sure yet. I have a few options. Hospitality, worship, intercession/prayer, barrista, and more...
As of yet, we don't quite know the date we're leaving. But OHHH MAN. I can't wait! It looks so beautiful! MOUNTAINS! I LOVE MOUNTAINS!